she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
