I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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