I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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