Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
