haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
