The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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