oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
