I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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