Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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