Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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