i permit you to call me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
