This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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