I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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