is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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