i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
