Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The uberlube is also flammable
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
