They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
