do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
