Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
as a side note pls kill me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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