dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize