I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
