I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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