but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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