I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
