It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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