There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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