Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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