You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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