next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
