he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
