I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
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