you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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