just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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