people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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