you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
