had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
