Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
