wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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