Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
