i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
