I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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