dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
