Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
