return my video game
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize