you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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