My hair reeks of homosexuality.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
