well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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