I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We left an ass print on the piano.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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