need another drink. this is the easiest way
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
