I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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