thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
