It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
