Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Michael Bay diarrhea
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
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So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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