I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize