in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
