Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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