Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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