clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
