i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We smell like vodka and hangover
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