i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
