Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
my poor anus
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
