he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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