Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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