were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize